#blackmentalhealth

5 tips to protect your mental health that you can do TODAY!

Let me start by saying that I am not a licensed professional. I have not studied psychology (to any great lengths). These tips are just what I have found to help me with anxiety. I am happy to be a listening ear to anyone, but please see a therapist or doctor if you are not feeling well.

We are living in trying times, ladies and gentlemen. We are approaching a year of being ‘safe at home’ and trying to figure out our lives within the confines of our new normal. Additionally, for those of us that are blessed with melanin, we are living in an especially difficult time. However, I find that Black people find mental health to be taboo. Growing up we were told to 'pray about it’ if we were feeling sad or overwhelmed. I’m here to tell you that prayer works, but there is so much more to it. 

How do you protect your mental space?

What can you do to make sure that you aren’t sinking into any sort of darkness or anxiety that's being offered up by the world right now? I’ve got a few things to try. Some of you may read these things and say, ‘Duh, Dana, these are simple things to accomplish’. To that I say ‘good, if they are simple, do it!’. However, I know for a fact, that for most people these things are hard to do.

Let’s start with the *BONUS TIP* - Give Yourself Grace. I made a quick video last week telling you guys that I was giving myself a week off from writing to rest. I was so tired and was trying to process some things. When it came time to put the finishing touches on this blog, I just decided I couldn't do it. I find that I am harder on myself than anyone else. It’s like I’m trying to prove something to myself when it’s absolutely unnecessary. I’ve told myself it was ok to ‘let myself down’ in order to allow for rest and a break. 99 times out of a 100 I emerge better and can manage my own expectations. So with that said... 

1. Say No!

When you don’t feel like it. When it doesn’t serve you. When you have to give more than you have. Now, here’s the kicker, say no without an explanation. The only feelings you are required to protect are your own. (that’s it, that’s all I have to say for that one!)

2. Social Media Hiatus

I mentioned in an earlier blog post that Hubby put me on a social media break last summer when the social unrest was spiking. He is a huge fan of unplugging and recognized that the outside world was negatively affecting me. That break was everything. I completely deleted all the apps and had more time than I knew what to do with (kinda, I mean the boys knew how to fill the void). I found that I was incredibly present instead of mindlessly scrolling. Taking a break will make your priorities a priority and you won’t be caught up in someone else’s drama or foolishly comparing your life to others. The grass isn’t always greener...

3. Control your environment

Speaking of green grass.. well, not really. This is not a discussion on climate change (which is real, btw). Anyway, recently, I’ve really come to hate clutter. I find that I am more anxious when I sit in a room where is stuff everywhere! I constantly fight with the boys about keeping their stuff in their playroom (and out of my living room!) Junk overstimulates me, most times to the point where I begin to shut down. I’ll say to myself, ‘it’s a mess in this room’ but instead of taking some time to clean up I become paralyzed. My brain fights with my body and I end up not doing anything. It’s a weird dynamic. However, I’ve been working so hard recently on project ‘make this house a home’. I never want to feel overwhelmed in my own home, so everything has to have a place. I’m organizing the house room by room to make living simpler for everyone. 

This is a before and after of the boys' bathroom. I'm embarrassed to show this, but can we get into this organization. You can't tell me this doesn't make you feel better!

4. Find ME time

Most days after dinner I disappear. I go in search of quiet. It’s so necessary after being ‘mom-ed’ all day. During ME time I work on my blog, catch up on a show, do some yoga, play with my Cricut, take a hot shower, or shamelessly play angry birds without a kid peering over my shoulder thinking they can do better than me. Sitting in silence and quieting your mind is rejuvenating. I used to feel guilty for kicking the boys out during this time, but these days I’m becoming selfish with my time and space. My ME time is imperative to be the mom they need me to be. 

5. Yoga. Is. Everything!

I did a 30-day yoga series I found on YouTube at the beginning of the year. I learned so much about what my body was capable of at that time. I can hold a plank for much longer than I thought because I’ve learned to tap into my breath cycles. Breathing is something you do without thinking about it. When you take the time to mindfully listen to your breath it’s incredibly cleansing and strengthening. Combining your breath with various flexibility and strength-building poses will give your body AND mind a complete workout. Besides walking, it may be the only type of exercise I ever do for the rest of my life. 

It's OK to not be OK..

Of course, you don't have to be Black to try these tips. However, on this last installment of the Black History Month series (a week late), I want to challenge by Black readers to check in with yourselves. Tune into how you feel and if it's anything less than 100% talk to someone! There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a therapist or not appearing in control. Release the stigma, we have to protect ourselves in every aspect of our lives. I love you all!

Grace, Space, and Love,